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Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 2:35:22 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 8548
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
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quote:
When the Expected Arrives - Part 4
Hudson Russell Davis - Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
It is impossible to calculate the number of hours spent waiting, longing, hoping, and dreaming of the day when love would walk up to me and take my hand.
I have imagined many scenarios in which I find that person before whom I melt and to whom I am a hero. I have written poems of tribute to a nameless, faceless, person whom I hoped would not tarry this long. I have even, at times, put down as lost the hope that seemed so haggard.
It seems like only yesterday I wrote of that "longing like starvation" and reminded myself—and those who would listen—that "time is not my enemy and waiting is not punishment." I said this because within me beats a heart like all other hearts, trained in a world that associates doing good with reward. It seemed to me, as well as to many others, that I was doing good, and quite honestly—I wanted my reward.
The delay felt like punishment, and each day felt like extended animosity.
It seems like only yesterday that I made my confession of longing and admitted that, come what may, my life was given to the Lord who called me to Himself. It is only proper that, despite our longing and hope we keep a proper perspective on all that we do have and what is promised after all this passes away. I cannot help but share the pain and sorrow felt by each single who cannot seem to answer the questions asked by well meaning friends and family, "Why are you still single?" And it makes me wonder if they can answer with any confidence, to my liking, why they are married.
<< SNIP >>
My expected has arrived—but I did not expect her.
Read the rest of When the Expected Arrives - Part 4
Were you friends before you became romantic?
_____________________________
Fred "Fritz" Alberti
Director of Social Media
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
Read today's Bible verse from my favorite online Bible
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 2:49:34 PM
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Elena1030
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Friendly acquaintances.
But I've never had a good (as in "close") friendship turn into romance. I'm not of the "friends first" camp anyway. I think that a close friendship between a man and a woman should be reserved for those who are already dating seriously and are headed toward marriage.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 3:40:49 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 2870
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quote:
Were you friends before you became romantic?
Yes 
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. . . when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 4:06:02 PM
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northstar
Posts: 204
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Fritzpw_Admin
Were you friends before you became romantic?
No we weren't. We were married 7 months after we first met, and we got to know each other with marriage in mind. 
_____________________________
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.
Psalm 122:6
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 4:18:43 PM
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allisonbrett
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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We met and were married in 6 weeks so I'd have to say no. We started out forming a wonderful friendship which quickly turned into much more. That easy compatibility and ability to share openly without care solidified our relationship on so many levels.
Today after almost 5 years we still are the absolute best of friends and have a wonderful marriage. We do what few can do well - we also work together full time and run a business. Needless to say we are together 24/7/365.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/21/2009 6:24:02 PM
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herestoresmysoul
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Joined: 3/13/2009
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We have always been best friends AND romantic right from the very beginning.
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/22/2009 12:04:00 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 2730
Joined: 9/26/2007
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Ooh - Hudson Russell Davis writes like a poet! Awesome!
Yes, we were friends at first. Me, because several years earlier I'd given up on ever marrying, and him, because he thought he was destined to marry a 22 year old blonde cheerleader and I wasn't one. So we got together more than anything else as buddies to do fun things with... and realized we were a match.
He asked my widowed mother for permission to marry me (had he played a little hard-to-get, she would have paid him to marry her older single daughter! LOL) and proposed soon after. There've been a lot of difficult times like any marriage, but still happy-ever-after over all.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/22/2009 7:08:16 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4070
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Somewhat.
Our congregation did not allow for "friendships" between men and women, or any kind of social dating. But I knew her and was her back up musician before joining that congregation.
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Avatar is my son Caleb and Leah on their wedding 12/20/09
=======================
Winner of 2010 "best in "He Says"
=======================
Our CD is available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/30/2009 9:45:14 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 643
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
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Yes, almost all of my relationships started as close friendships that turned romantic.
Some just stalled out and went back to platonic-only friendships and others flamed out bad and killed the connection entirely.
I knew my wife before we dated as a occasional member of my group of friends, but we weren't especially close when we started dating.
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/31/2009 12:15:40 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 5658
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From: Richmond, VA
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The romantic started within days.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
14 (go Tony!)
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 10/31/2009 3:26:41 PM
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Simway
Posts: 319
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No, we met at church, this was in June, and were married in Feb. that was 41 years ago.
Simway
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 11/3/2009 3:45:13 PM
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seekinpeace
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Joined: 11/2/2009
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My first husband and I were friends before we started dating. We dated for 4 years and then got engaged. Married a year after engagement. We were married almost 7 years before he filed for divorce the second time. I think it would have worked out if he had given things time. I think he went through a kind of early midlife crisis period. Said he just wanted to be single. He changed careers during that time too and was getting a lot of attention from girls, he wanted the freedom to mess around.
I've been married once and divorced again since then and he's been engaged, with the engagement broken at the last minute. During the time shortly after I was divorced the second time he asked about trying again with us. Though raised in a Christian home/family (we grew up in the same church together) he's not a christian. I turned him down gently as I could. Hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I still wonder if it were the right thing. I still love him very much, but I also know he's not the same person I married a long time ago either. I'm afraid our expectations of each other will turn out to be big disappointments.
Sorry, got off on my tangent....
Yes, we were friends first and I would recommend it that way despite the outcome of my marriage.
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 11/4/2009 12:12:31 PM
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Auben
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Yes, and I even turned him down romantically during that early period.
He continued to be my friend with no other expectations, we drew closer, and by getting to know him better I realized that he was what I was looking for. I think it was a nice surprise for both of us.
Because underneath it all we've always been good, good friends we've always had a very strong marriage bond and even now surprise people with how close we are.
And I always laugh when people say things like 'he doesn't give me butterflies!' Nope, he didn't give me butterflies, he made me feel total peace and comfort.
_____________________________
Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 11/7/2009 5:58:11 PM
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Liv4Him06
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Joined: 12/6/2006
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Nope, we let our hypothalamus take over. Dopamine and norepinephrine are definitely feel good highs. We were both twittered patted as one could get.
I wish we started out as friends. It might've taken the rose-colored glasses off.
_____________________________
"Death is half disarmed when the pleasures and interests of the flesh are first denied."
—Richard Baxter
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 11/8/2009 10:21:23 PM
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manda_24
Posts: 6
Joined: 12/13/2005
From: Indiana
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Yes, we were more acquaintances at church for about 5 years before our circle of friends started to overlap. From there we started spending time together in smaller groups before he asked me out.
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RE: Were you friends before you became romantic? - 11/10/2009 4:10:33 AM
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fm337
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Joined: 4/28/2005
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Yes, and I'm glad.
Becuase we both were interested in others when we first met, we were blessed with the opportunity to just be natural. No games, just ourselves. What a gift it was to just hang out as friends. I was ready to date sooner than she was. Once we started dating, she was ready to marry a lot sooner than I was.
13+ years of marriage later, we are truly blessed. I have since flipped about dating, and now would prefer that my kids (when they're old enough) only court, and not go through serial dating.
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