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RE: Perfectionist Problems - 10/22/2009 12:29:04 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2232
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: offline
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Oh, yes. He is 12 now and still like that. He is better than he used to be though. He can almost learn by osmosis. He used to turn to tears for anything that he had to work at all for.
The biggest break through, oddly enough, was when he and his brother worked their way through a Zelda video game. As soon as there were tears or too much frustration, I would put it up. I would tell them that games were supposed to be fun. If it was causing them stress, then they needed a break from the game. Of course, they soon wanted to play again, and learned to control their tears. They would play each task of Zelda over and over again until they got it right and could pass to the next part. They would be SO excited as they conquered each hurdle.
When they reached a hurdle in school, I would liken it to the Zelda game. I would try to get him to see it as something to conquer and be proud of because it took extra work. I wouldn't praise him very much for the things that came easy in order to emphasize how proud I was of the things that took hard work (which usually wasn't that hard for him).
He used to melt if he did 5 pages of math perfectly and then got 1 wrong on the 6th page.  I would congratulate him at making it to the next quest. I also don't let him see his work while I am grading it. I would call him to me and ask him to answer the orally what he got wrong, still without showing him his work. That also saved me from the flood of tears... I still do that with my oldest daughter as well.
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Believe very little of others opinions of you, and believe less of your opinions of yourself. The only opinion that matters is that of your Creator, and He thinks you're to die for.
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RE: Perfectionist Problems - 10/28/2009 2:32:08 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1794
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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my oldest is very much like this...and the best piece of advice we got for it was from her violin teacher when she was 5....he told her "If you aren't making mistakes, you are not learning....."
Whenever she'd start to get upset about something not being "perfect"...we'd remind her that if she wasn't making mistakes...she wasn't learning.....
At 18...she still struggles with this...but she does get the concept.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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