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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 11:03:05 AM
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his_chosen
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He just turned 15, so 10months.
I am just so discouraged today. I finally went to church yesterday, only to have a little kid sit behind me and talk through the entire service which I allowed to distract me. I left right after the service so I could spend time with dh, only to have him choose a stupid movie over me. Due to the time difference and expense, dh won't be able to call. He won't be home until Saturdya late. And then to have ds2 continue to fail and there is NOTHING I can do about it. And God is in this where???
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You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 11:18:40 AM
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PrincessDonna
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I'm sorry you had a cruddy day. Do you have a friend who goes to a Bible study or women's ministry type events that you could tag along with? You may find that you get more out of that kind of thing than sitting in a church service (not that there's anything wrong with that...it just seems like you could benefit from some closer fellowship with women).
For your son, you KNOW that you would tell another mom in the same boat that it isn't her fault. You need to let go of the guilt of him refusing to do his work. He is old enough that he needs to own his own schoolwork, and if he is not willing to do that, there is really not much you can do. Some kids are just tougher than other, and all you can do is pray that they learn their lesson sooner rather than later.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Hazel))))))))))))))))))))))
As to where God is...He is there. Right where you are. I know you have some hard questions for Him, as most of us do or have at one time or another. Do you write those out? God can handle our questions, and sometimes...He'll give us an answer if we ask! Sometimes not, but it doesn't hurt to ask.
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For every tone of disrespect, rudeness, negativity, or anger, Noah is doing 10-15 pushups. He is hating them. Which is the point. 
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 12:28:21 PM
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judii1
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From: The Frozen Thumb of MI!
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quote:
I just got a truancy warning letter in the mail.
his, Can you switch back to homeschool and drop the charter school? I would let him study what he wanted to for now. Turn him loose in the garage with a bunch of tools and an old lawn mower engine or pick up some old computers somewhere and pick up a computer repair book. That way, he would be learning something. Then cut the book work down to the minimum that he knows the most important things in the chapters.
That's just my 2 cents.
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What does 1 boy + 1 set of new clothes + 1 brother with a paintball gun = ?
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 12:52:29 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2232
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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Melissa, have you tried cutting MSG out of your diet? Ever since I went off from MSG, I have been able to manage my migraines with only excedrin. I am sure that you understand what a huge blessing that is. It is even so good that I take Excedrin before I know that I am going to eat MSG, and usually that will take care of it. I did have one really bad bout of migraines that lasted a couple of weeks, but that was due to stress, and my chiro helped me with that!
_____________________________
Believe very little of others opinions of you, and believe less of your opinions of yourself. The only opinion that matters is that of your Creator, and He thinks you're to die for.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 10:49:18 PM
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his_chosen
Posts: 1173
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Donna--not everyone here would agree. Had I parented correctly from the get-go, we wouldn't have having these issues with ds2 now.
And what a roller coaster day it's been. Ds2 was being, uh, what word can I use that won't get TOSed??? Just to get out, I went grocery shopping after dinner. I got him a Monster soda. I took it up to his room where he was actually starting school work. I gave it to him and told him I though he might need it because we had a late night ahead of us. We talked though his assignments. Even though I hadn't read the book, I was able to help him think through his book report questions. Okay, so that wasn't so tough. Next up, he had a biology experiment to do, which we did together. He still has history and math to do, but those (when he turns in the work!) aren't too tough. With math, he has the answer before I can even figure out how to set up the problem! When ds2 is good, he is very, very good. But when he's not  
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/16/2009 10:56:27 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7662
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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His, With a difficult child, it can be hard to know how to parent him. My girls have been relatively easy, but my son has tried my every nerve and is extremely strong willed. Trying to understand how to parent him has been one of the most difficult challenges of my life. He is ten and I am still working at understanding how to parent him. In hindsight, it is easy to look back and see mistakes, but it is much harder to know what to do in the moment. However, the Lord does guide us as we are able to hear Him. I know a lot of my preconceived ideas got in the way of my understanding how to parent my son. It wasn't that the Lord hasn't spoken to me. I just didn't get it. That is why we need His grace, which thankfully He has plenty of.
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Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/17/2009 10:07:24 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 260
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quote:
Donna--not everyone here would agree. Had I parented correctly from the get-go, we wouldn't have having these issues with ds2 now.
Well I do not think there is a perfect parent out there. Life is hard! For everyone! No one gets it right all the time. No one. Don't be hard on yourself, his.
Bottom line for your son (and mine)- this is the life you have, these are your circumstances and that's all you have to work with right now. I tell my son that he has to make out of his life what he can, and that's just how it is for every one.
Some people have it easier than other; some people make their lives harder than it has to be. It's up to him what he wants to do with his life and circumstances.
Then, along with a hug, is my word that while I can't guarantee results, my heart is to help him succeed in any way I can. He can ask me for anything and I will honestly consider it. No promises that I will always make the right decision, but a promise that I will do my best to be on his side and help him make a good life for himself.
Honest. Sincere. And puts the responsibility for his decisions and actions right where they belong, squarely on his shoulders. Not mommy's.
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"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/17/2009 3:33:54 PM
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2jsmom
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I always say I was the perfect parent............until I had children. I've made mistakes as a parent, and I pray that God will fill in the blanks that I've left undone. Here's what I tell my boys. You didn't have perfect parents, but that's not a valid excuse for messing up your life. We're all responsible for what we do with our lives. History is full of people who had truly rotten childhoods, but overcame that to become great leaders. Now my boys haven't had rotten childhoods by any stretch of the imagination, but even if they did, how they live their lives as adults is their responsibility.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/17/2009 11:08:42 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 329
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From: Northwest PA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: his_chosen
And God is in this where???
Right next to you.
Remember that you can't blame God for the choices your husband and your son make. The one thing God will not do is interfere with free will. I'm sorry they're making poor choices, but God has nothing to do with it. He's as upset about it as you are.
And to answer your other question - yes, we have water. We just have to be careful with it, because the pump isn't keeping up with what we normally use. We just have to check the tank before we do a bunch of laundry or everyone decides to take a shower.
My husband saw the ADD specialist today and walked away with a scrip for Adderall. His blood pressure was also up quite a bit, so the doc gave him the scrip with the understanding that he will have the BP issue dealt with soon. We'll see if it makes a difference. He has the MRI on his knee tomorrow.
quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
Bottom line for your son (and mine)- this is the life you have, these are your circumstances and that's all you have to work with right now. I tell my son that he has to make out of his life what he can, and that's just how it is for every one.
Some people have it easier than other; some people make their lives harder than it has to be. It's up to him what he wants to do with his life and circumstances.
Shadow, I LOVE this. I need to have a long conversation with my daughter sometime over the next few days, and I'm unashamedly stealing this! Thanks!
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If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/18/2009 9:24:01 AM
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his_chosen
Posts: 1173
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Yah, God being there is good and all. I just don't understand why God sits back and does nothing. If He can "knit together a baby in the mother's womb", why can't he heal Brian's leg? Okay, maybe He has a really long TTD list. But it's been over a year. You would think He'd have gotten to it by now.
Okay... another day...
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/18/2009 10:22:30 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 4656
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
I just don't understand why God sits back and does nothing. If He can "knit together a baby in the mother's womb", why can't he heal Brian's leg? Okay, maybe He has a really long TTD list. But it's been over a year. You would think He'd have gotten to it by now.
He can heal Brian's leg. He just hasn't. I won't lie...this is something I have struggled over too. Mostly because it just seems neverending. And also with my niece, Caragen, and her brain injury from her accident in February. But...
I don't know if I ever shared it here, but from the first couple months after Brian's accident, I have held on to a word the Lord gave me. Sometimes God is more glorified in a life lived well without a healing, than He is with a miraculous healing. I believe this is the case for us. At least right now. I can't say what God will do in the future...think about the people Jesus healed when he walked the earth. Some of them were severely ill or disfigured for years upon years! That made God's healing even more powerful, IMO. So maybe someday, God will heal Brian completely, even make the rods, plates, and breaks disappear completely! Wouldn't that be amazing? If it is God's plan to do that, we will surely praise Him! And if it is God's plan that Brian live the rest of his life disabled, and even if he loses more than he has already lost, we will yet praise Him, because His plans for us are good and all of our suffering (which is SOOOOO light in comparison to many!) is for a purpose.
If anything, this accident has cemented those things into my heart. Before, I would have said I believed in God's goodness and faithfulness, but now, I *know* them in a way I could not have without these experiences. Brian would say the same thing, I know, because we have talked about it.
Hazel, I know you are struggling with all the hurts and bad things that happen in this world. I think we all wrestle with those things at some point. But please do not hurt for Brian and I, or hold what we are going through against God. We are okay with what God is doing, whatever that is.
Do we have days we just want to cry and we don't understand? Yes. We are human and I won't pretend to have it all together. But even on those hard days, I know that I know that I KNOW that God is with us and He has never once left us alone on this journey. He hasn't left you either, even if it feels like it. God can handle our questions. And He has the answers to them...even if we sometimes don't get an answer we like.
((((((((((((((((((((((Hazel))))))))))))))))))))))) My heart rejoices when I think of you, because I know that real growth comes from our struggling times. So I know that God is doing something great in you, and I can't wait to see it!
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/18/2009 1:44:58 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7662
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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It would be nice if people outgrew ADD, then I would not have had to spend so much of my life energy reprogramming myself, it would have happened naturally.
_____________________________
Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/19/2009 11:13:32 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 4656
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I can wait.
Where did everyone go???
Tomorrow, Noah, Hannah, and Levi have dentist appointments. This is Levi's first one. Should be a trip.    Have to talk to the dentist about Noah's teeth. Kid is almost 10 and hasn't lost a single top tooth yet, and only 4 lower ones! Is this normal???? We do know his upper teeth are especially crowded and I have a feeling that is what is keeping them from coming in. I'm really afraid he's going to have to have surgery for them. He does not do well with ANYthing medical. 
Also going to the zoo after their appointment. Yay!
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 10:38:39 AM
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2jsmom
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I don't know, Donna. They started pulling my teeth when I was 9 because they weren't dropping out to let the permanent teeth come in. Personally, I think that was too soon. My older son had to have a front tooth pulled when he was about that age. He had an extra tooth that came in after his baby teeth fell out. It looked like a spike. In his case it really did have to be pulled because it would have never come out on its own.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 11:14:58 AM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2232
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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My teeth did start coming out till I was 9 but I am not the greatest example.
_____________________________
Believe very little of others opinions of you, and believe less of your opinions of yourself. The only opinion that matters is that of your Creator, and He thinks you're to die for.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 11:24:00 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5214
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From: Formerly Jesus Land
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I just got a postcard from my sister in Israel. I'm so thankful for Facebook chat. I talk to her almost every night before she goes to bed while I'm on my lunch break. :)
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 1:00:18 PM
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Krislynx
Posts: 847
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Donna, hope Noah's teeth can get taken care of easily. My family has very bad teeth - genetics not from lack of brushing. Oral surgery, 8+ years in braces (not cosmetic) for 2 of us....I am so hoping Mark's side has balanced me out!
Kris
< Message edited by Krislynx -- 11/20/2009 1:07:17 PM >
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 2:09:56 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 2672
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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I had baby teeth that had to be extracted because they never fell out. In the case of one of them the adult tooth came in behind it They didn't do the extractions until I was in highschool though, so maybe I was like 15 or 16?
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Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
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RE: Give Thanks! November Homeschool Chat - 11/20/2009 2:20:14 PM
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Krislynx
Posts: 847
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Ours were done at varying ages due to underlying issues. D had his done around Noah's age (maybe a big older) because the adult teeth were cutting in behind. B's were done even younger because his front teeth were positioned and angled to cut straight out the front of his gum. Not good. So they pulled his in the hopes they would reposition. They did and he was the lucky one of us (4 kids) - that was the extent of his dental work other than routine cleanings etc.
Kris
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