|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 11:29:34 AM
|
|
|
bricole77
Posts: 527
Joined: 7/28/2006
From: Grand Haven, MI
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: bricole77
My Pastor talks about how in the old Jewish marriage ceromonies they would place the joppa (sp?) over the bed to consummate the marriage. the same joppa the couple would be married under. then a spiritual interchange would take place when the two united and "became one flesh" i believe a spritual interchange similar to this takes place when you pray with someone. again just my opinion dont have specific bilical reference. Joppa? It took me a couple of readings before I realized what you were refering to. I am surprised how badly some words can be mispronounced.
The term is Chuppah, which is a wedding canopy. the Ch is pronounced like the ch in Bach. It is a gutteral that is close to the K sound.
The chuppah is mentioned prominately in the marriage codes and blessings from the first century. Current practice is to use a Tallit, a rectangular prayer shawl with ceremonial fringes on the 4 corners (translated "hem" in the NT), worn during morning prayers by observant Jewish men. In fact, my son's tallit just came in the mail this last friday. He is getting married on Dec 20 and wanted a big tallit for use as the chuppah.
I have read a lot about the first century marriage customs in Jerusalem and the surrounding area, and of the diasporah Jews living in Greece. I have also heard some wild claims by christian preachers that I have found absolutely no support for. This would fall into that category.
However, I CAN tell you personally and subjectively that when I have cast my own tallit over someone, or even loaned it to them to use, that I have sensed a responsibility toward that person to pray for them. It is my custom that at the final blessing that closes our service (the Aaronic benediction) that I cover my wife (and previously my children) with it.
It is true that praying together brings spiritual closeness. That is a GOOD thing. Paul says we are a body, with all the various members bound together with sinues of love. Please note that he follows 1 Cor 12 which talks about the body with 1 Cor 13, the love chapter. We should never seek to be seperated spiritually from any of our brothers or sisters.
While it is true that in some cases, praying together has led to inappropriate behavior up to and including adultery, I would submit that it is more a result of our western mentality that seperates us all out, and then have difficulty handling it when the Lord brings us together. We do not know how to handle the closeness and act in an inappropriate or sinful way.
Better, IMO, to get used to dealing with the closeness and openness. Being closed off like that does not promote congregational unity and function together as the body.
My bad! Well I'm no theologian .... obviously:)
_____________________________
I am thankful for the chastening of the LORD, without it I would be like stagnant water, attracting bugs and mold. Because of His reproof, I grow. To God be the glory, forever and ever amen.~ Britanni
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 11:30:37 AM
|
|
|
bricole77
Posts: 527
Joined: 7/28/2006
From: Grand Haven, MI
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AndersFan
I'm in the "don't pray together" camp. But I also think it's a matter of personal preference rather than a biblical mandate either direction.
I used to always want to pray with those I was dating. But because of personal experiences, I changed my mind. I almost married a guy I dated a few years back. He was about to propose to me when he changed his mind without warning and left, never to speak to me or see me again. No matter what, it would have been devastating. But because he had a spiritual leader role in our relationship, we prayed together every day, studied the Bible together almost daily, went to church together... It messed up my spiritual walk too.
So as for the praying thing, it's a personal preference. Personally, I know that I could not handle that, so I prefer not to pray together. Others, however, could handle it just fine, so I say more power to them.  Obviously mine is an isolated incident that doesn't happen often. 
My sister has been married more than a decade to a very godly man, and he purposefully chose for them not to pray together for all the reasons listed in this thread. I thought that was pretty cool. 
Yes because of instances like this is why I think it can be dangerous....
_____________________________
I am thankful for the chastening of the LORD, without it I would be like stagnant water, attracting bugs and mold. Because of His reproof, I grow. To God be the glory, forever and ever amen.~ Britanni
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 12:51:35 PM
|
|
|
rawr.ben
Posts: 2191
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
|
Any more dangerous than what it can be to not pray together? To go into a marriage and soon learn that the man is NOT a spiritual leader?
_____________________________
rawr.ben
Facebook
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 1:16:31 PM
|
|
|
SamsonUSA
Posts: 2022
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
Status: offline
|
quote:
Any more dangerous than what it can be to not pray together? To go into a marriage and soon learn that the man is NOT a spiritual leader?
Amen Ben.
I would not even consider dating someone exclusively who would not feel comfortable praying together.
_____________________________
Ronald Reagan said, "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."
Similarly, I've noticed that everyone who preaches Limited Atonement are already saved.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 1:27:44 PM
|
|
|
Elena1030
Posts: 2973
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
|
I think those who said that the concept is more about emotional bonds, rather than spiritual ones, are likely right. I think that as a woman, though, I find it difficult to separate my emotional life from other aspects of my living. Ya know? So... being spiritual is also emotional for me, and vice versa.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
quote:
Any more dangerous than what it can be to not pray together? To go into a marriage and soon learn that the man is NOT a spiritual leader?
Amen Ben.
I would not even consider dating someone exclusively who would not feel comfortable praying together.
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a man who wanted to immediately begin intertwining our spiritual lives in the EARLY stages of dating. Doing some praying together once you are beyond the first five dates or so, is a possibility. But doing quiet times together? Probably should keep those separate. You could still have some praying-together times --- I think those are best done when the relationship is transitioning to exclusivity, in the later stages of dating, and when the couple is transitioning to engagement.
Certainly, praying thanks for the food and beverages when sharing a meal, even from the beginning, is a good thing.
But I don't think I ever advocated NEVER praying together during the dating phase (all that time before the wedding). I think I was saying that it needs to be an appropriate timing and rate of growth, along with the rest of the relationship.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 1:33:17 PM
|
|
|
Elena1030
Posts: 2973
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: rawr.ben
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
I discovered a similar truth about doing Bible reading and discussion together at an early (it was VERY early) stage in dating ---> my dating companion (we never did get to official boyfriend/girlfriend stage) and I were going over Scripture, reading it together, and cuddling. At least we were in a public place, which limited the emotional & physical/sexual temptations. But those were still there. If we had had just an intellectual discussion, rather than an affection-filled one, with consulting the Bible for our talking points or supporting evidence (as part of the discussion) instead of reading it devotionally (as in, devotion to each other -- that was the tone and the feeling), then the experience would not have been out of proportion to where we were in the stages of dating.
That's not a "truth" per se. It was for you, specifically. But it is not universal.
I think the truth I was pointing to was that certain behaviors that are what two married Christians are to do, are not to be done so early in the dating relationship. Again, this guy and I were barely dating -- it was not the time in a dating relationship (esp. as it didn't really exist) to do what really ought to have been reserved for when we were already a committed dating couple.
And yes, the specific illustration of that truth --- the way that we were reading Scripture to each other (which had far more to do with context of the two of us, rather than the mere fact of joint Bible reading and discussion) --- was specific to me... and to the particular situation of me and that guy. I don't mean to make that particular illustration the rule for all others. However, it is possible that other folks could experience the same thing, so giving a warning (not a prohibition) about stuff like this, isn't amiss.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 2:18:20 PM
|
|
|
SamsonUSA
Posts: 2022
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
Status: offline
|
quote:
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a man who wanted to immediately begin intertwining our spiritual lives in the EARLY stages of dating
As Christians do we not have boundries set from even before the very first date?
quote:
Doing some praying together once you are beyond the first five dates or so, is a possibility.
I respect your opinion friend as I do that of others who have posted in this thread sharing a similar one.
In my opinion this view appears very legalistic.
Perhaps we found out that we had much in common and shared an enjoyable evening that will lead to another date. Maybe not.
At the conclusion of our very first date I will pray for her before saying good night.
When is it permissable to share the first peck on the cheek? After date one, two, ... fifteen? If at all? That is between the dating couple and the Lord, and is open for discussion.
Setting the precedent from date one of placing all honor, praise, and glory at the feet of the One who sits on the throne through prayer is not.
_____________________________
Ronald Reagan said, "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."
Similarly, I've noticed that everyone who preaches Limited Atonement are already saved.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 2:42:13 PM
|
|
|
Elena1030
Posts: 2973
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
quote:
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a man who wanted to immediately begin intertwining our spiritual lives in the EARLY stages of dating
As Christians do we not have boundries set from even before the very first date?
Yes, we should. But sometimes folks are lax about defending those boundaries for themselves and begin to share and intertwine way too much of their lives way too quickly.
quote:
quote:
Doing some praying together once you are beyond the first five dates or so, is a possibility.
I respect your opinion friend as I do that of others who have posted in this thread sharing a similar one.
In my opinion this view appears very legalistic.
Well, five dates isn't a rule... it was more of an example to try to illustrate what I meant by a later stage in the set of early stages of dating. (One date a week - five dates is knowing each other for over a month. And probably there's been phone calls, e-mails, and maybe some texting in the times between dates.)
Two people may feel comfortable after a second date. That's fine, if it's wise and good for them. I can see that happening in a situation like a couple's already knowing each other as acquaintances for a while before going on an official "romantic interest" date.
With someone a woman doesn't know very well at all, depending on her trigger points of emotional weakness, then she needs to be careful.
Some women aren't as eager as I can get, so I understand if they feel they can venture out "emotionally" a bit more, without having some pretty firm guidelines for themselves.
I just know from my own experiences and from the experiences of the women I know (and the anecdotes I've read) that we women, generally speaking, do well to be cautious. Not paralyzed. Not avoiding all risks. But not rushing headlong into emotionally attaching ourselves prematurely. And for many --- not all --- praying alone aloud with a man is one of those arenas.
quote:
At the conclusion of our very first date I will pray for her before saying good night.
A prayer of blessing like that is a very sweet, kind, brotherly thing to do; it's a wonderful idea. I see that as being different from praying aloud together --- especially if you add holding hands in prayer, as Christians often do in groups.
I would be open to my date doing that. I would think you in particular would ask a woman first if she's comfortable with your voicing a prayer like that.
quote:
When is it permissable to share the first peck on the cheek? After date one, two, ... fifteen? If at all? That is between the dating couple and the Lord, and is open for discussion.
Setting the precedent from date one of placing all honor, praise, and glory at the feet of the One who sits on the throne through prayer is not.
I imagine that's also being done individually. And probably should be evident in the conversations the two people are having as they are getting to know each other. Otherwise, they probably shouldn't continue to date, if they aren't a good match of spiritual weight classes.
When to do that "as a couple" really depends --- 'cause there is an "era" in the dating process in which the two of them aren't a couple yet.
From the beginning, praying together as brother and sister in Christ and dedicating the time together as to the Lord's glory and for Him to bless and sanctify their thoughts, attitudes, speech, and behavior while in each other's presence --- yes, that can be done. Just don't go too deep into personal emotional feelings about the situation. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point. No need to wax emotional! And it can be done as part of prayer before the meal or snack.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 7:38:44 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4249
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
|
I'll say again...if you are clearly a couple headed for marriage, by all means pray together. On the first date? Nope. You are not a "couple" on the first date. You might not be a "couple" for ten dates, for six months, for however long and in my opinion, if you are not an established couple, then you shouldn't be intertwining very many areas of your life, of which prayer is one.
I don't ever have to go through this again, but I don't think I would have liked a guy praying for me on a first date either. Seems too much like a father thing.
< Message edited by stellaluna -- 11/18/2009 7:56:20 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 7:49:27 PM
|
|
|
BugLady
Posts: 2759
Joined: 12/5/2005
From:
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I'll say again...if you are clearly a couple headed for marriage, by all means pray together. On the first date? Nope. You are not a "couple" on the first date. You might not be a "couple" for ten dates, for six months, for however long and in my opinion, if you are not an established couple, then you shouldn't be entertwining very many areas of your life, of which prayer is one.
I don't ever have to go through this again, but I don't think I would have liked a guy praying for me on a first date either. Seems too much like a father thing.
I am in complete agreement with this ^^.
_____________________________
· · · — — — · · ·
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 8:36:11 PM
|
|
|
SamsonUSA
Posts: 2022
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
Status: offline
|
quote:
I'll say again...if you are clearly a couple headed for marriage, by all means pray together. On the first date? Nope. You are not a "couple" on the first date. You might not be a "couple" for ten dates, for six months, for however long and in my opinion, if you are not an established couple, then you shouldn't be intertwining very many areas of your life, of which prayer is one.
Sorry Stella, but following this line of reasoning we would need to cease all prayer at every small group that we may attend.
In my opinion those who would pick and choose who they would and would not pray with are forgetting one very important fact.
Prayer is not about us, it is about Him.
_____________________________
Ronald Reagan said, "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."
Similarly, I've noticed that everyone who preaches Limited Atonement are already saved.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 9:12:00 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4249
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
|
I find it hard to believe you cannot tell the difference between a date and a small group meeting.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 9:45:36 PM
|
|
|
SamsonUSA
Posts: 2022
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I find it hard to believe you cannot tell the difference between a date and a small group meeting.
No, I do not see any difference where it relates to prayer. Even though I counsel both singles and couples for some reason I cannot seem to grasp what it is that you see is wrong about two people who have begun dating praying together.
I know that I am not the brightest crayola in the box, so please enlighten me because I just don't get it. What are possible ramifications that you see that could arise from two people who have begun dating praying together, that wouldn't be an issue once they are an "established couple" as you put it?
_____________________________
Ronald Reagan said, "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."
Similarly, I've noticed that everyone who preaches Limited Atonement are already saved.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 10:08:19 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4249
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
|
My opinion has been clearly laid out already, by me and by other posters:
quote:
Even when you intend to make God the cornerstone of your relationship when your constantly praying with that person you can develop a "3-way" relationship between you, God and your boy(girl)friend.
quote:
Perhaps ...
1. It is wise to be cautious about forming spiritual and emotional bonds too quickly, especially in the early stages of dating.
2. Once a couple is getting serious and is headed towards engagement (likely), then it may be time to think about sharing some spiritual discipline things. Not all. Just some. And with wise limits.
3. Close to engagement and after it, yes, the spiritual ties should be forming and strengthening.
quote:
To be praying with the guy(s) would have confused me even worse because of the closeness it would imply and I would feel.
quote:
The concern with praying together is not because of "spiritual" bonding, but because of an emotional one.
quote:
I don't think sex is even a consideration. I see it as a mixing of emotion and your prayer life with someone you barely know. If someone is your boyfriend or girlfriend, that is not a committed relationship IMO. Once you start working toward marriage--and are moving into engagement--that's different. Pray together all you want as you begin embarking on a life together. Before that, pray for and about the person, not necessarily with.
quote:
So when that bond forms during prayer maybe it can be confusing and blind the person to whats going on in their relationship with the other.
quote:
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a man who wanted to immediately begin intertwining our spiritual lives in the EARLY stages of dating. Doing some praying together once you are beyond the first five dates or so, is a possibility. But doing quiet times together? Probably should keep those separate. You could still have some praying-together times --- I think those are best done when the relationship is transitioning to exclusivity, in the later stages of dating, and when the couple is transitioning to engagement.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 10:12:26 PM
|
|
|
jhuperetes
Posts: 1946
Status: offline
|
Isn't dating in itself creates a bond?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 10:36:08 PM
|
|
|
SamsonUSA
Posts: 2022
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
My opinion has been clearly laid out already, by me and by other posters:
quote:
Even when you intend to make God the cornerstone of your relationship when your constantly praying with that person you can develop a "3-way" relationship between you, God and your boy(girl)friend.
quote:
Perhaps ...
1. It is wise to be cautious about forming spiritual and emotional bonds too quickly, especially in the early stages of dating.
2. Once a couple is getting serious and is headed towards engagement (likely), then it may be time to think about sharing some spiritual discipline things. Not all. Just some. And with wise limits.
3. Close to engagement and after it, yes, the spiritual ties should be forming and strengthening.
quote:
To be praying with the guy(s) would have confused me even worse because of the closeness it would imply and I would feel.
quote:
The concern with praying together is not because of "spiritual" bonding, but because of an emotional one.
quote:
I don't think sex is even a consideration. I see it as a mixing of emotion and your prayer life with someone you barely know. If someone is your boyfriend or girlfriend, that is not a committed relationship IMO. Once you start working toward marriage--and are moving into engagement--that's different. Pray together all you want as you begin embarking on a life together. Before that, pray for and about the person, not necessarily with.
quote:
So when that bond forms during prayer maybe it can be confusing and blind the person to whats going on in their relationship with the other.
quote:
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a man who wanted to immediately begin intertwining our spiritual lives in the EARLY stages of dating. Doing some praying together once you are beyond the first five dates or so, is a possibility. But doing quiet times together? Probably should keep those separate. You could still have some praying-together times --- I think those are best done when the relationship is transitioning to exclusivity, in the later stages of dating, and when the couple is transitioning to engagement.
Thank you for posting these Stella. I would respectfully disagree with every reason stated.
In my own personal opinion the common theme I see that binds all of these reasons together is this:
Lets see how we are going to work this out first, then we will permit God to get involved.
_____________________________
Ronald Reagan said, "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."
Similarly, I've noticed that everyone who preaches Limited Atonement are already saved.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 10:47:46 PM
|
|
|
Psalms274
Posts: 2205
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I find it hard to believe you cannot tell the difference between a date and a small group meeting.
No, I do not see any difference where it relates to prayer. Even though I counsel both singles and couples for some reason I cannot seem to grasp what it is that you see is wrong about two people who have begun dating praying together.
I know that I am not the brightest crayola in the box, so please enlighten me because I just don't get it. What are possible ramifications that you see that could arise from two people who have begun dating praying together, that wouldn't be an issue once they are an "established couple" as you put it?
Early on in a relationship, especially for women, an emotional attachment can be formed (whether you have much in common or not) when you pray together. Many women (not all) have a tendency to start seeing someone they just met with rose colored glasses. If you pray with her in the beginning of the relationship (and I am not referring to praying over a meal, but asking her what she would like you to pray for in her life, then joining hands in prayer, just the two of you, as you bring these things together before the Lord) she will have to fight "vain imaginations" of the two of you walking down the isle together before you have even dropped her off on that first date. If you decide to not call again or that you just desire to be friends and it is not a relationship that will lead to marriage, she is more likely be very hurt by those actions if the two of you have been praying in an intimate way. You can easily get ahead of what God is doing in a relationship by praying together too early. You could also contribute to someone struggling with their walk with God by praying with them early on and then just leaving them because the act of prayer is a way to not only bond with the Father, but with the one you are praying with. They will wrongly believe that you care for them more than you do and question God because you come across as being a Godly man. If you will notice by this thread, most of the women are saying it is a bad idea, it's just how many of us are wired.
I believe you both should be praying with others and on your own in the beginning because God most certainly needs to be involved. But praying together can cause some to form bonds that would not have been formed had you not been praying intimately (not over meals or with groups) together.
Edited for a silly grammar issue!!! I hate that when that happens.
< Message edited by Psalms274 -- 11/18/2009 11:49:35 PM >
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/18/2009 11:57:45 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 779
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
Prayer is not about us, it is about Him.
Needs repeating!
Interesting thread. I'm a bit perplexed. Could be because I've only skimmed the responses  but there are so many things to be prayed for whether it's a dating situation or not. My first response would be as long as the parties involved are in AGREEMENT(both being believers in Christ is a start---in addition to reverencing God's Word) I don't see what difference it makes who's praying. In a bf/gf situation are we talking about praying about the relationship?!? If that prayer is in accordance with God's will and His Word...go for it! Only what God has intended will ultimately pan out anyway so I think it's wise that a couple seek God about His will for the individual as well as the couple.
I think it's unfair if anyone measures the spiritual readiness of a potential spouse by their willingness to pray together though. We grow in degrees, from glory to glory. Our relationship with God(which is what we're talking about FIRST and foremost) is a journey. Some people are nervous to pray in front of others. Some people are uncomfortable praying alone because they don't know how to approach God, what to say, how to say it. Couples (married) who reverence God grow together in God---one may have weakness and not be as spiritually "secure" in one area and vice-versa but God brings the balance because we are not to pride ourselves on our "strengths." Also, in a dating situation, I've never heard that the male is the spiritual "lead" or "head" isn't that reserved for husbands?
< Message edited by truthrevealed -- 11/19/2009 12:16:05 AM >
_____________________________
What a mighty God we serve!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/19/2009 12:26:11 AM
|
|
|
rawr.ben
Posts: 2191
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: jhuperetes
Isn't dating in itself creates a bond?
EL oh el. Good point.
_____________________________
rawr.ben
Facebook
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/19/2009 4:39:27 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 2161
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
quote:
Any more dangerous than what it can be to not pray together? To go into a marriage and soon learn that the man is NOT a spiritual leader?
Amen Ben.
I would not even consider dating someone exclusively who would not feel comfortable praying together.
Totaly agree. I would see any refusal to pray together as a BIG red flag.I wanted a man with a strong relationship with God and a strong prayer life and that is what I got.
I also just dont get this so called conncection between praying together and the possibility of sinning sexually. Surely praying together helps to keep our focus on God and what is right?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend - 11/19/2009 9:49:27 AM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4249
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
|
I'd like to ask how many in this thread:
1) date
2) pray together on every date
quote:
Early on in a relationship, especially for women, an emotional attachment can be formed (whether you have much in common or not) when you pray together. Many women (not all) have a tendency to start seeing someone they just met with rose colored glasses. If you pray with her in the beginning of the relationship (and I am not referring to praying over a meal, but asking her what she would like you to pray for in her life, then joining hands in prayer, just the two of you, as you bring these things together before the Lord) she will have to fight "vain imaginations" of the two of you walking down the isle together before you have even dropped her off on that first date. If you decide to not call again or that you just desire to be friends and it is not a relationship that will lead to marriage, she is more likely be very hurt by those actions if the two of you have been praying in an intimate way. You can easily get ahead of what God is doing in a relationship by praying together too early. You could also contribute to someone struggling with their walk with God by praying with them early on and then just leaving them because the act of prayer is a way to not only bond with the Father, but with the one you are praying with. They will wrongly believe that you care for them more than you do and question God because you come across as being a Godly man. If you will notice by this thread, most of the women are saying it is a bad idea, it's just how many of us are wired.
I believe you both should be praying with others and on your own in the beginning because God most certainly needs to be involved. But praying together can cause some to form bonds that would not have been formed had you not been praying intimately (not over meals or with groups) together.
This sums it up nicely. If you disagree with me, fine. You don't have to date me and vice versa.
And this is important to me:
quote:
Also, in a dating situation, I've never heard that the male is the spiritual "lead" or "head" isn't that reserved for husbands?
Any woman who defers to every man she dates is setting herself up for nothing but heartbreak; and any guy who thinks he's going to "lead" every woman he dates is someone I wouldn't want to date.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
Let freedom ring...let the whole world sing...it's independence day!!!! 
