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Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 9:25:30 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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I am interested in hearing from people who have coslept with their children. How long did you cosleep? How did you eventually make the transition from your bed to the child's bed?
Please don't turn this into a debate thread or arguments that cosleeping is harmful for family/marriages/children. I know there are two sides to this issue but I would like this thread to stay on the topic of how long and the transition.
Thanks
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 9:36:47 AM
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Auben
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They always had their own bed, spent naps there, and began the night there. It's only with the first waking that they would join us.
Eventually they don't wake as much in the night, unless they need us for something. As they get older my husband sometimes puts them back in bed as they fall back to sleep with us after a bad dream or illness.
We haven't had too much problem with it, although some days I'm sure it seemed like we would never clear out the bed.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 10:09:13 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
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Only did full cosleeping (all night) the first few weeks. THen started them each in a bassinet by our bed, bringing them into our bed when they woke for the first feeding. Whether they went back to their bed depended on how tired I was or whether I had to get up anyway. For a good 6 months, nursing them to sleep would usually zonk me right out too. Love that oxytocin. 
I often did lie down with them for a pre-nap nursing, but from the very beginning, I usually got up as soon as they were asleep. I also made an effort to get them used to sleeping without me in different places. I have a moses basket that was very handy for that.
Mine all woke to feed well after 1 yo, but when it was time for a big boy bed in their own room, around 2 yo, we had *no* trouble. I had one with night terrors, and when we switched the big boys to their bunk beds they fell out every night for a week (both on the bottom bunk) , but we've never had a child who didn't want to sleep in his own bed, or who cried for us at night. Not even when they're sick, or if there is a thunderstorm, etc.
The way we figured it, the first year at least was fulfilling a need for our kids. After that, their needs lessened. Closing in on their second birthday, it became a training/discipline issue, and we gradually worked on it with them. Actually, having them in our room thorugh that time was very handy. When they got to the age they wanted to play, or stand up, or try to climb out, most of the time they responded very well to a stern "NO. It's time to sleep. Lie down" from Josiah.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 10:10:11 AM
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bolt.
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We co-slept the first 2 weeks or so with each infant -- more with the first than the 2nd. My DH did it, and he actually put the babe in a snuggli-type carrier and slept on his back with it on. It made him feel that there was less chance of him dropping them in his sleep!
We transitioned to a nearby bassinett for night, and crib for daytime naps. Once naps were going well, we went with the crib full time.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 10:30:51 AM
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his_chosen
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Ds1 NEVER co-slept.
Ds2 slept in a car seat for the first few months. Probably would have done better with co-sleeping, but we listened to the "experts".
Ds3 I think was always in his crib, although that time period is a bit fuzzy.
Ds4 co-slept! All our kids are 2yrs apart. By then, I needed SLEEP! I would get it any way I could! Nap time was fine, although ds4 did sleep in the swing or stroller quite often. Night time, I would nurse him at bedtime, then allow him to sleep on my chest. After the middle of the night feeding, we'd change him then put him in his crib where he would sleep until morning. I think we only did this for the first month or so.
I was concerned about SIDS due to ds4 sleeping on his belly on my chest. LeLecheLeague assured me that this was not the same as belly sleeping in a crib, that babies were supposed to sleep this way. As long as the mother had not been drinking (not like you can drink while bfing!) or otherwise impared, it is safe.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 11:00:18 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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Thank you everyone for responding. Logan is 7 months old. Right now we are doing like Auben. He goes to his own bed at night and then comes in with us when he wakes. That can be anywhere from midnight until 5am. He is more restless now because he is no longer sleeping in the Amby. They had a recall so I am not comfortable with him sleeping there.
As far as naps go, morning naps are a disaster and afternoon naps only work because I nap with him. I can't do that in the morning because it would leave Miss Hannah, who is 2, alone to run the house. Not a good scenario.
I have mixed feelings about it all. On one hand, I actually love sleeping with him at night. I love the snuggles and he sleeps so well. He often doesn't wake up to nurse. I wish I could get him to take a morning nap but I have not found anything that will work. He used to nurse to sleep in my arms but even that doesn't happen anymore. He will sleep in the car so many mornings we take a drive.
I don't really see doing anything to change our situation until he is at least one year old. We will see at that time. I often feel like I am stumbling in the dark when it comes to Logan sleeping.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 11:33:03 AM
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Simway
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Neither one of our Daughters ever slept with us. We did have out oldest daughter in the same room with us for a couple weeks...we then decided she and us would be better off if she was in the room across the hall from us. We moved her and she then slept all night and so did we. With the second daugher, we started her off in her own room and she did fine.
Simway
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 12:28:07 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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Not that it makes a difference, but we are cosleeping out of desperation. Logan was just a terrible sleeper on his own. After 6 weeks of terribly broken sleep, I was starting to have signs of significant depression. Lack of sleep affects me in very negative ways. I love cosleeping. Husband loves it because he gets more sleep and his wife is no longer on the verge of a nervous breakdown. If your baby sleeping in their own bed works for you, that is wondeful. But for us, it was not an option without me going on antidepressants.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 12:40:49 PM
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creationtalk
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I coslept (single parent) with my son for the first 3 years. At first it was necessary--there wasn't room for a bed and a crib in the house. I believe that my son would have died at 6 weeks (reflux) had he not been in my bed.
When we got a big enough house that my son could have his own room, we continued to cosleep because he had breathing problems...I couldn't sleep with him in his own room--I would constantly get up to check on him. Having him with me meant I could check on him and get some sleep at the same time.
When my son was three years old, we made a big deal out of going shopping for a "big boy" bed. He moved into his own room at that time. He was a bit perturbed when he discovered that he would be sleeping in his new bed by himself (I reminded him it was a "big boy" bed and mommy wasn't a boy), but the transition was pretty easy.
For a few years after that I would sometimes bring him to my bed or let him sleep on a mattress on the floor of my room if he was sick. A cold could rapidly become a life threatening asthma attack so I felt better having him near where I could hear if his breathing got labored.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 12:46:56 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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Creationtalk, I do understand what you are saying. When Logan wasn't even two weeks old, we had to call the ambulance because he stopped breathing. We later found out it was reflux. His reflux didn't subside until he was 6 months old. Cosleeping has allowed everyone to get some sleep.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 1:55:31 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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Gabby slept with me solidly for the first 12 weeks, and then she sort of slept with me for one week, and in her crib for one week because of DH's work schedule. She was a tummy sleeper and I felt much better having her in my bed. Twice I woke up to her not breathing in what were probably apnea spells due to reflux.
We had no problem transitioning her to her own bed full time, and for the most part she still sleeps there unless she's sick or just needs to cuddle. She will come in our bed for a 20 minutes-1 hour and then she will be ready to go back in her own bed.
It works nicely and we all sleep well.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 5:07:52 PM
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christsstar
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Audrey sleeps in her own crib when we put her to bed, and then will come to bed with us when she wakes up and is either cold, or won't go back to sleep.
I don't have any concerns over her co-sleeping, knowing that we'll be able to transition her eventually. But our bed just isn't big enough for all three of us. She likes her space and will wake up when she rolls into us. she is just too cold in her crib and need the body heat of mommy and daddy. She slept great over the summer in her own crib.
Bring on summer............
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 6:15:08 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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Chrisstar, have you tried the sleeping bags? JCPennys have them up to 5T. My dd (2) still has one for colder nights. From 2t on up they have foot holes. I put it over her sleeper and she is toasty warm.
I don't have concerns over cosleeping with Logan. I don't think it will cause him to be too dependant or anything. Right now he is a happier baby because his needs for closeness is being met. We are a happier family. What I am hoping is that he will just sleep longer and longer in his own bed.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 10:25:46 PM
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SweetPea21307
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurpassingPeace
Not that it makes a difference, but we are cosleeping out of desperation. Logan was just a terrible sleeper on his own. After 6 weeks of terribly broken sleep, I was starting to have signs of significant depression. Lack of sleep affects me in very negative ways. I love cosleeping. Husband loves it because he gets more sleep and his wife is no longer on the verge of a nervous breakdown. If your baby sleeping in their own bed works for you, that is wondeful. But for us, it was not an option without me going on antidepressants.
I would recommend organic lavender essential oil. Not the stuff at places like Walmart. You can pick up some organic essential oils at places like Whole Foods, natural food supply type stores or online. Put a drop on each wrist. It works fast!
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/22/2009 11:58:58 PM
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betterisoneday
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Both my boys co-slept for the first few months. It made nursing easier because I wouldn't always hear them in the other room. Once they were out of the crib I'd let 'em curl up in my bed if they woke up early morning (like 0400 or something).
I really don't remember switching them to the crib... naps were almost always in the crib and not a problem. They both slept in a small swing beside the bed for a couple weeks because of colds; think it kinda switched to the crib at night from there.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/23/2009 10:46:39 AM
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christsstar
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurpassingPeace
Chrisstar, have you tried the sleeping bags? JCPennys have them up to 5T. My dd (2) still has one for colder nights. From 2t on up they have foot holes. I put it over her sleeper and she is toasty warm.
I don't have concerns over cosleeping with Logan. I don't think it will cause him to be too dependant or anything. Right now he is a happier baby because his needs for closeness is being met. We are a happier family. What I am hoping is that he will just sleep longer and longer in his own bed.
Yep. We've tried various things.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/23/2009 12:32:35 PM
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vv56964
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Auben
They always had their own bed, spent naps there, and began the night there. It's only with the first waking that they would join us.
Eventually they don't wake as much in the night, unless they need us for something. As they get older my husband sometimes puts them back in bed as they fall back to sleep with us after a bad dream or illness.
We haven't had too much problem with it, although some days I'm sure it seemed like we would never clear out the bed.
Same here. Our daughter who is four still comes to our bed on occasion, but we are pushing for her to sleep in her bed all night by rewarding her for sleeping in her bed. This week, she has slept in her bed almost every night, not coming to our room until 7:30ish.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/28/2009 1:17:02 PM
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Brandy
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Started off in our bed and is still there at 18 months. We all love it. We all get sleep. She doesn't even have her own bed at this point. She does have a mattress that we may start getting her used to and transitioning her onto next to our bed before new baby gets here in July. But it works for us and that's what matters!!!
You get to a point where you do what works and that's your life for that period. Whether you keep up with it or change routines you still do what works and what is best for your family. I had a few comments early on and had a reply set up and used it. Only had to use it a few times before people just didn't ask.
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RE: Cosleeping - 12/28/2009 2:03:11 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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Brandy, I agree with you 100%. The truth was, I was plunged into what felt like clinical depression. It was getting hard to function. It was all due to long term sleep deprivation but the symptoms were the same. Cosleeping was not our first choice as a family but we are ALL so much healthier and happier with real sleep. That includes my 2 year old whose sleep was constantly disrupted. I actually like sleeping with him quite a bit. It is so sweet and they are only tiny once. As far as comments, I don't think I give off a "please tell me your criticisms unasked" kind of vibe. I see people bite their lips but most people keep their opinions to themselves.
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