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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 3:59:59 PM
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magdaleine
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quote:
I am still not speaking to the cat, either! LOL! When you were talking about the size of the "mouse" yesterday, I wondered if it was a rat. I'm glad it's dead. Hopefully you won't encounter any more. I love little creatures like that and had pet mice but rats I never could love--not even the lab rats securely locked in cages.
We went to ds3's psychiatrist on Monday. We'll have another visit with him because an hour wasn't long enough. While we were there, our cars were towed away. Poor dh was so stressed out! Did I mention the living room ceiling fell out because of a leak in one of the bathroom pipes? That was Sunday morning. But to counteract all those, we found out that because ds3 was on social assistance, they will pay the funeral and burial costs. That's got to be a big load off dh's shoulders--he worries so much about money. We weren't going to have a burial of his ashes except under the tree we're planting but since it's being paid for, dh wants it and has arranged to bury them in the same cemetery as his mom. He's taking care of all the little details like the bank and such. I'm glad because I can't do those things.
I reminded him today that just because I'm not crying doesn't mean that I'm not grieving and that I need support from him, just as much as he does from me. I don't think that occurred to him. I think he sees me as so much stronger than him that I don't need his help.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 5:01:49 PM
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IwillseekHim
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Maggie, I read on your other thread about your vehicles being towed. Glad you got it taken care of, though. Also, very thankful to read about the expenses being paid. Hopefully, that is one less thing you and dh will not have to worry about. But, now your living room ceiling fell? Yikes!!!
Although, your family members are leaving one by one, I am so glad you have the emotional support of husband. He's probally needing you as much as you need him, hopefully you will lean on one another and be a help to each other. I wholeheartedly agree with you about just because the tears aren't flowing doesn't mean you are not grieving. As I read somewhere here that there is no one way to grieve. People handle grief differently. I went from one extreme to another(guess that is the bipolar in me). When Matthew died I had it in my head that I shouldn't feel happiness or smile at all. As if, smiling meant I wasn't grieving....I made myself so sick that first year after his suicide. Of course, I know now that was not the best thing to do. I denied myself any happiness at all. Somehow, I convinced myself to not allow happiness into my life. It was a slow, long road to healing. Sometimes I wonder if I cheated myself. Healing may have come somewhat sooner if I had allowed myself to feel something, anything. I welcomed the numbness, if I stayed numb than atleast I couldn't feel pain. I was wrong. Please, please know that I am sincerely praying for you, sister.
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 6:46:51 PM
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pink..
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From: Indiana
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Maggie, did you get a nap in after your appt?
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 7:05:09 PM
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pink..
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From: Indiana
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((((MM))))
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 10:21:15 PM
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magdaleine
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Molly, that's icky. I'm sorry for all you're going through.
Yes, Roberta, I slept for about four hours in the late afternoon, early evening. I hadn't intended to but I was sitting in bed with my computer and dh came to join me, feeling really badly, so I cuddled up with him and fell asleep.
My doctor says that my still feeling detached is normal and is probably because I was closer to ds3 than the rest of the family.
Not-so-catless Melissa, I'm not sure yet if dh is here for me emotionally. He's so wrapped up in his own pain that I had to remind him that I need support too. His hearing that, however, seemed more than he could handle. How sad that you didn't know you could have happy times after Matthew's death (son? husband?). We've had so much laughter in the past week. It has bothered dh some because all he can do is cry and finds all the laughter hard to take but just as he has needed to cry, the rest of us have needed to laugh. Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you all for praying. God is certainly with us.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/18/2009 11:21:05 PM
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pink..
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From: Indiana
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
Yes, Roberta, I slept for about four hours in the late afternoon, early evening. I hadn't intended to but I was sitting in bed with my computer and dh came to join me, feeling really badly, so I cuddled up with him and fell asleep.
Sounds like you needed the sleep.
quote:
My doctor says that my still feeling detached is normal and is probably because I was closer to ds3 than the rest of the family.
I agree with your dr.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 12:51:21 AM
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Nutty4God
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Well, I'm just a lurking tonight, but I'm reading this thread. I'm a little stress out with my relative from out of town visiting, but otherwise I'm fine. Plus, getting bad news about one of my relatives that I live with is presents new coping challenges. I'll get through it all, with God at my side, lifting me upon in His arms along the way.
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You know you're in a red-neck church when... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy! :)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 10:39:18 AM
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heremainsfaithful
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I'd like to ask for prayer. I feel like I am approaching crisis. There have been a lot of stresses converging, and something is definitely going on with my job. It's a long story, but a little suicidal ideation is starting to go on. Don't worry, I could never actually do that, but it's sort of comforting in a very twisted way. I should call the doctor, I guess, but he can't change the circumstances. I wish we could just pack up and move and never look back. Sorry I'm being so weak and whiny.
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Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
Eihstein's IQ may be higher than mine, but God's IQ is higher than anyone's.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 11:18:41 AM
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manda59
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(((heremainsfaithful)))
Praying for you.
But please DO call your doctor. It won't do any harm and it may do you some good. He can't change the circumstances, but it's not the circumstances that are causing you to feel this way, it's your reaction to your circumstances, and he may be able to help with that. In fact, even just talking to him may have a therapeutic value for you. But please DO call him. And soon.
Do you have a sympathetic pastor you could talk to as well, to ask for prayer?
< Message edited by manda59 -- 11/19/2009 11:27:44 AM >
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"What Manda said; well-stated and wise. Just tell people the truth." deermousie, September 2010
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 12:52:59 PM
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heremainsfaithful
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From: Alabama
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I feel really weird talking to our pastor because I haven't been to church regularly lately. I think I need to reinstate some counseling for awhile. I honestly am afraid I will lose my job. I know there are legal steps I could take if it comes to that, but the thought of it just makes me weary. It's time for something different. I haven't been the same kind of teacher since all this bipolar diagnosis. And because of that I just don't feel right here. I really want to go somewhere where I have a clean slate. Or I want my husband to get a full time job (he's finishing his PhD) and then have me look for something part time. I have been the main breadwinner and sole insurance provider for several years, and while we both agreed 7 years ago for him to go to school, I am just really tired. I don't talk much because I don't want him to feel like he isn't a good husband or anything. I grew up in a "Cleaver" household, so I know how to smile no matter what. But I think I am cracking.
I have felt like I was in this surreal state almost constantly since March. We have adjusted and all that several times, but I just feel strange - hopeless and panicky and angry and overwhelmed and inadequate. I pray, but I feel unworthy somehow, even though I know God's Word enough to know better than that. That's part of why it is so upsetting. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and in an awesome church, so I know better than this. Honestly, if it wouldn't ruin us financially and leave us without insurance, I would leave here now. But I really love the kids. It's just everything else.
Sorry again. I guess I do need to find someone to talk to.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
Eihstein's IQ may be higher than mine, but God's IQ is higher than anyone's.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 12:57:26 PM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 3539
Joined: 5/17/2009
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Please contact your doctor. And take it from me, moving isn't always the answer either. I felt the exact same way. I took it one step further. I packed up my entire family and moved away. It was not the answer. In fact, probally the worst mistake I could ever make. It took me almost a year to find my way back home. Then we endured six months of my husband being unemployed with no benefits. We lived on my part time income. Only by the grace of God were we finally able to get back on our feet. Trust me, you want to think long and hard about moving away.
Be a friend to yourself and not your own worst enemy. Contact your doctor, please.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 1:33:17 PM
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Nutty4God
Posts: 3907
Joined: 11/10/2006
From: an old oak tree! :)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heremainsfaithful
I'd like to ask for prayer. I feel like I am approaching crisis. There have been a lot of stresses converging, and something is definitely going on with my job. It's a long story, but a little suicidal ideation is starting to go on. Don't worry, I could never actually do that, but it's sort of comforting in a very twisted way. I should call the doctor, I guess, but he can't change the circumstances. I wish we could just pack up and move and never look back. Sorry I'm being so weak and whiny.
I urge you to contact your doctor RIGHT AWAY. As a person who's survived a suicide attempt, I can tell you that that is not the solution. It will just create heartache for those left behind.
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My Blog
You know you're in a red-neck church when... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy! :)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 3:52:40 PM
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richartrod
Posts: 481
Joined: 4/21/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IwillseekHim
I'd like to speak to the sisters who tried reassuring me last week that I should feel "honored" for the dead "gifts" this cat is presenting me with lately. Well, I don't feel honored yet. More like, nausiated... Walked outside and kitty is on the porch. Crunching. I was kinda scared to turn the porch light on, honestly. It was a mouse, BIG mouse. Thankfully, a dead mouse. Now, unless I let her eat this humongous victim of hers, I gotta go pick it up and remove it. UGH! I wish I had of seen it BEFORE I drank my coffee this morning!!!!!
The dead gifts are all a part of the cat's hunter instinct and the loyalty to its owner. 
Being a little lion (which in turn is called a big cat), kitties will hunt down their prey, kill it, and present it to their owner expecting congratulations, national TV coverage and a bronze statue in front of City Hall for being such a skilled hunter.  And worse yet, kitties will eat part of their kill and expect their owners to finish it off with them!  
Actually, as gross as it was to discover, it's actually a good thing your cat is such a great mouser. That's one less rodent to infest your house and yard... and at least kitty is earning her keep...  ...and not just lying around the porch getting stoned on catnip.   
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 3:59:23 PM
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pink..
Posts: 10612
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Indiana
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Melissa, I'm sorry to hear about your family member's bad news.
HRF- please talk to your pastor, doctor, therapist or someone ASAP.
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 7:40:28 PM
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pink..
Posts: 10612
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Indiana
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I've never heard of anyone smoking catnip. I wouldn't try it. It would definately interfere with your family, your job, your life, etc.
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