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transition to "high" school - 11/14/2009 10:10:46 PM
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davelinde
Posts: 1010
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: New Jersey
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We have home schooled since first grade for both kids. Our oldest is approaching ninth grade and starting to have a few issues. He is bright enough (he tests ahead of grade level and can learn on his own if he is interested in something)... but he is lacking motivation and a bit of an under-achiever now. He is also starting to complain he is tired of just learning at home.
I think some of this is just "typical 13 year old boy" stuff and some of it is unique to our situation. I'm not sure what's best next. I want my son to have a good preparation to enter college and I'm not sure how to get there from here. We have looked at few virtual schools and beyond having someone else chase after him to keep on schedule I'm not sure what that offers. We are now considering doing a few on-line courses with a few taught at home from curriculum we choose.
Any ideas? At this point we seem to be producing a C+ student who can score in the 90+ percentile on standard tests a year ahead of his current grade (if that makes sense). I want him to learn, be challenged and get prepared...
any advice from those who have done this transition before?
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/15/2009 12:03:29 AM
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cynthia
Posts: 7662
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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You might consider looking into CollegePlus and having him begin college. In addition, does he have any special interests? If so, allow him to pursue thoses interests and how he can turn them into a career. If not, now is the time to be thinking, praying and exploring areas that interest him and hopefully finding some passion(s) he can pursue.
_____________________________
Often times the battle is the worst right before a breakthrough. In order to get us to give up, the devil wants us to think we are losing, when in fact we need to fight on to victory.
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/15/2009 9:59:28 AM
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his_chosen
Posts: 1173
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Right thre with you, except ds2 is 15yo. This year we are doing cyber school and ds2 is barely passing. He's very smart, just not motivated at all.
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/15/2009 1:47:00 PM
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Ellie-Mae
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From: The EMPIRE state!
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We start encouraging our kids toward independent work from the beginning as they are able. When they are 11 and 12 we start gearing them up for being a teenager. By the end of 6th grade they are supposed to be taking responsibility for their school work as well as putting out a higher quality of work. If they don't, they don't get to pass into 7th grade. When they show self motivation and a desire to dig into their work, they can move into 7th grade.
We talk a lot about our goals for them. As they get older we talk more and more about what their goals are for themselves. Then we discuss what they have to do to accomplish those goals. We constantly are showing them how what they are doing is helping them to achieve their goals. We help them keep focused on their goals.
Also, as they get older, they are given more and more freedom to choose what they want to study and how. This year, my 14 year old is doing NY state history. He wants to do more stuff online, so I found an in depth online study of NY state history, and he is doing a power point presentation of the entire thing instead of taking notes. He is also reading about the Loomis gang which controlled the area that we live in. He is also writing a novel that he is going to edit, design a cover, and publish like a real book. Before he started the book, he developed his characters, wrote a detailed outline and description of each chapter, developed the setting including drawing a map, researched medieval weaponry, battle strategies, and so much more. He is doing these things on his own!
I wish that I could say that he is so self motivated in all his schooling, but it is enough to make schooling much easier. Most kids aren't going to be motivated in everything, but it makes the other work a lot easier when they are driven in some stuff because you can build on it.
_____________________________
Believe very little of others opinions of you, and believe less of your opinions of yourself. The only opinion that matters is that of your Creator, and He thinks you're to die for.
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/17/2009 3:15:45 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 260
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We have had struggles with our son, not about lack of motivation in school, but in other areas. Some questions to ask ourselves as parents:
Is there stress in the home? Marriage tension? Financial problems? Health issues with any family member? Relationship challenges with another sibling?
One or more of these things may even be an everyday issue, and so we assume it is not affecting our children emotionally because it's just the way things are. And if our children are used to these stressors, they themselves may not realize how much it affects them personally.
I would suggest some serious soul-searching and prayer time with mom and dad together. If that's not possible then mom can go it alone. Then after praying from the heart, try talking to your son about anything that comes to mind as a possible factor that may be bothering him.
My marriage has been a major stressor for years in our family, and as we have begun addressing it seriously in many ways it has been more stressful. Also my husband has been unhappy in his job for over a year, and it ended with him getting laid off in September. He has a new job, but makes only 60% of what he made before. There have been major relationship problems with our daughter in recent years but those are finally over (yay!).
This fall our son started letting his grades slip. He was lazier and lazier. He only wanted to play video games. He would never tell us when he was upset, he would just sulk while insisting nothing was wrong. Finally we caught him shoplifting. We could not ignore that he was hurting any longer.
My husband and I prayed together, and then we went to talk to him. We told him how much we loved him, apologized for the way our problems had affected him negatively. We told him how we wanted good for his future. We dealt with his sin firmly, fairly and lovingly. Plus we are both going out of our way to do fun stuff with him, to ask how he's doing, how he feels about things, and to really listen even when we want to roll our eyes at his immaturity. (How ironic!  )
And it seems like he is healing. His grades are up. He is living honestly. We start some regular weekly volunteer work tomorrow as part of our plan to invest more in his life and teach him to do good with his own hands.
Maybe this is way off base, but do pray about it. There may be something in your family life that is really upsetting him that he can't talk about or at least doesn't feel like he can talk about and be heard. If that is what is going on, a change of curriculum won't help nearly as much as a change in family dynamics.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/17/2009 3:46:33 PM
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davelinde
Posts: 1010
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: New Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
.... they are supposed to be taking responsibility for their school work as well as putting out a higher quality of work. If they don't, they don't get to pass into 7th grade. ...
they are given more and more freedom to choose what they want to study and how...and so much more. He is doing these things on his own!
I wish that I could say that he is so self motivated in all his schooling, but it is enough to make schooling much easier. Most kids aren't going to be motivated in everything, but it makes the other work a lot easier when they are driven in some stuff because you can build on it.
So how would holding him a grade level work? progress with the curriculum and call it a lower grade number? I cannot imagine the battle trying to force him to repeat the curriculum. As I noted, it's not that he cannot grasp it, for the stuff he doesn't like he only cares to work at a C+ level.
For things he likes (in his case computers) he will pick up a manual and learn it on his own, no problem. Say more about "building on it"... he happily works for hours on computer programming, but getting him from there to history or english is no easy jump.
To put a fine point on it... up to now we have been happy he is progressing because we can see him ace standardized tests. But starting with HS he will get a transcript of grades he will need to use to apply to college and good SATs (assuming he can do that) will not be enough. BTW, yes before he's done 4 years of HS he will probably have done a few college courses in the things he likes (math/science).
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/17/2009 4:19:25 PM
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crankius
Posts: 3338
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Just thinking of ideas...putting together what Ellie said here with what you have told us about his interests--
quote:
By the end of 6th grade they are supposed to be taking responsibility for their school work as well as putting out a higher quality of work. If they don't, they don't get to pass into 7th grade. When they show self motivation and a desire to dig into their work, they can move into 7th grade.
Is there a way he can earn more computer privileges based upon his performance in core HS coursework?
Perhaps set the standards of achievement together, with his input. What sort of work ethic does he think should be rewarded? Hopefully he will set his personal standards a little higher than C's, given his capabilities.
For example, if he earns B's and above in his other coursework, he can have X hours a week of computer time. The computer time could be limited based on his work ethic in other areas of life. This might provide him with motivation.
OR, perhaps you could let him earn the chance to take a college computer course--if his grades and work ethic reflect a person who is ready for college work.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
God's Attributes
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/17/2009 4:47:11 PM
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davelinde
Posts: 1010
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crankius
Just thinking of ideas...
Is there a way he can earn more computer privileges based upon his performance in core HS coursework?
yes... we have looked at various systems of reward and punishment to help with motivation. It's probably worth thinking about in a more structured way than we've done it so far.
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RE: transition to "high" school - 11/17/2009 7:20:23 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2232
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: davelinde
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
.... they are supposed to be taking responsibility for their school work as well as putting out a higher quality of work. If they don't, they don't get to pass into 7th grade. ...
they are given more and more freedom to choose what they want to study and how...and so much more. He is doing these things on his own!
I wish that I could say that he is so self motivated in all his schooling, but it is enough to make schooling much easier. Most kids aren't going to be motivated in everything, but it makes the other work a lot easier when they are driven in some stuff because you can build on it.
So how would holding him a grade level work? progress with the curriculum and call it a lower grade number? I cannot imagine the battle trying to force him to repeat the curriculum. As I noted, it's not that he cannot grasp it, for the stuff he doesn't like he only cares to work at a C+ level.
For things he likes (in his case computers) he will pick up a manual and learn it on his own, no problem. Say more about "building on it"... he happily works for hours on computer programming, but getting him from there to history or english is no easy jump.
To put a fine point on it... up to now we have been happy he is progressing because we can see him ace standardized tests. But starting with HS he will get a transcript of grades he will need to use to apply to college and good SATs (assuming he can do that) will not be enough. BTW, yes before he's done 4 years of HS he will probably have done a few college courses in the things he likes (math/science).
Keeping a kid at grade level is actually pretty easy when one home schools. There is such a huge variety of curriculum out there that a kid doesn't need to repeat much to stay at the same grade level. Then there are things like church to help drive in the point. My 12 year old is still in 6th grade Sunday School, although, he is well into his second year of pre-algebra. He is using 4 books that have a big number 6 on them to remind him what grade that he is really in (of his own choice). He is starting to move up to 7th soon at home now that he finally growing up.
Building on interest in computers to teach History and Grammar isn't really that much of a jump. I have already given two examples of doing just that with our kids and I am sure that there are many other ways to do that.
One of the big things that we had to do is to make two user accounts for the kids. One account is theirs that has all the fun stuff on it. The other account is called "school" that only has what is needed to do school work. Their fun account will only work an hour or two a day (depending on how much time I set it for). their school account can be used between 7:30 am until 7:30 pm for however long they need it. This also encourages them to think of educational ways to use their computer.
_____________________________
Believe very little of others opinions of you, and believe less of your opinions of yourself. The only opinion that matters is that of your Creator, and He thinks you're to die for.
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